things that make me anxious:
wal-mart, liars, traffic, smokers, invites, holiday sweaters, unwanted company, phone conversations, meetings, republicans, staples...

things that make me sleepy:
songs like "baby, i love your way" and "hotel california", hot tea, a cool room with many fat pillows and a warm blanket, back masages, car rides, hammocks, guitar, democrats, rain, camping, lying in his arms...

things that make me sad:
people, missed moments, death, cheaters, memories, guilt, the movie "seven pounds", my recent lack of creative expression, my grandma, mis-treated children, carnivorosity (should that happen to be a word...), over-alls, weddings, addictions...

things that make me happy:
honesty, thursdays, "cholocate" (the way she says chocolate), TRUE friends, rain on my face, songs like "party in the u.s.a", accomplishment, love, time, energy, health, people who are real, art, children, having someone to miss, hair salons, memories, words, compassion, animals, jeans, flip-flops, kaba-squatting, oldies tunes, any tunes, sun, committment, comedy, intellegence, patience, the pickle claw, dancing shows, dreams, loyalty, bravery, fall, family, sleeping naked, my curly hair, singing in my car, stories, movies, exorcise, target, company, lotion, film, a good kiss...

you love me but you push me away
it's unconditional, depending
i follow too closely i get burned
i take my own path and i burn it behind me
change finds me and you are proud
i walk with change and somehow offend you
you are my backbone, my center, my home
i attempt to remove this spine
only to learn to stand on my own
fear is a feeling which has no permanence
and yes i know what i'm doing
i finally know who i am
and no it isn't you
i finally know that's okay
i want you to know i no longer feel abused
i understand that was the best you could
i want you to know i love you, push me away

i stepped out and lost my footing
grass blades caught my hands
with sunlight all around me
i laughed in my new found station
i heard spokes spinning past me
heard the rubber meet the pavement
i heard music in my head by nature
so i rolled over and laid there for a while
i kept imagining the loss of this
not having this to go to
i kept remembering the smell of this
always having this as home
i was there when you weren't there
and here i am in heaven
so i'll stay for a few minutes more
i know this is simply temporary
and i find that comforting, too
i know there is more than this
and i will find it again i presume
i keep pieces of this when i go
i leaves pieces too, when i come
so i will bask in only memories

"I'm going away. I'm going my way.
Finally it's my time to be lonely, and lost, unloved and i can't wait.
Please forget what I said. Please forget my letter.
Every night I pray for you. I don't got no religion, isn't that something?"

-meg & dia

when the lights are low
and skin seems to whisper yellow
the shadows fall somewhere
between gray and blue
where the metal hits the stones
that change in mood
and dance closely together
they laugh at their surroundings
when the voice begins
and conversation becomes melody
and time becomes green
the sound follows the rainbow
where the dark disappears
and shapes come to view
sight floats in silence
and everything i see is real